SENIOR PONZOLOGIST

The Man Everyone Wanted to Shove in the Chest
(but only one man actually got to).

It's complicated. Most people don't understand. Let me put this in layman's terms: those handjobs don't actually exist.
What they're buying is the promise of a handjob, which Madoff then bundled and securitized.
He was basically selling handjob derivatives.

I really don't understand finance.