Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Gang Exploits a Miracle

It's been over a month since I've updated, and I've been getting shit about it from the like, three of you who actually read this.

Well, let's start from the very beginning. A very good place to start.

I spent the Christmas holiday shaving down my Jew horns so I could play WASP in East Hampton. Luckily, I blend in rather well (thanks Great-Grandmother Ruth for the blond hair).



WELL COME OVER, WE'RE GOING TO GET THE TREE. YEAH COME OVER NOW. HURRY UP. WE'RE GOING TO GET THE TREE C'MON. MAKE IT NICE AROUND THE TREE. C'MON MAKE IT EVEN. MAKE IT NIIIICE. GO C'MON TURN ON THE TREE. GO AHEAD, TURN IT ON. OOOOAAWWWWW LOOK AT THE TWEEEEE! AOOWWWWW LOOK AT THE TWEEEEEE...



Um, thanks Aviva for documenting CHRISTMAS MOM's celebrity cameo at Chrissie's 2007 holiday party. Amazing.


I guess everyone knows I love my cat. I suppose I'm *that girl* now.


*Nicolas


My favorite piece of furniture ever.


Christmas Eve...don't I look like a lovely Protestant Princess??


We went to the duck pond and fed the quacks bread from Trader Joe's.










All of a sudden they started going berserk.


Or duckshit, rather.


This dude appeared out of nowhere with a huge back of dried corn from Citarella. Nice how the ducks apparently eat better than I do.


This IS for the birds.


One of these things is not like the others.






This was a few nights later. We met up with the EH crew to play late-night paddle tennis. I'd never played before, but as with all sports I always end up getting super competitive...even if I totally suck at said sport, which in this case I did. I'd never played before and It's hard getting used to a paddle instead of a tennis racket. Anyway, I ended up making a couple of sick dives to get the ball...epic, yes. Successful, no. The concrete on the courts is gnarly. I tore up the knuckles on my right had, ripped out a piece of my shoulder and got my AIDS--I mean, blood all over Nico's hoodie. Sorry. Sorry for being such a badass.


Can't nobody hold me down.


Yup, that's about right.




We went over to Gordon's pool pad. These are the press photos for our upcoming twenty-something ensemble TV dramedy.




Bobby's gonna be a Dad soon.


Très jolie.



Action shot.



The siblings Pool plus Bobby.


Mr. Hamptons DOT com





I borrowed Colin's chapeau.




Outlining his next editorial?



A solid game of Celebrity was played and enjoyed by all.


Nico's serenade.


Flight of the Concords, much?


Yup, Born to Folk!



The night we got back into the city and went straight to Morgan's Heidelberg for the Holidays party. I was late for the eating part (which I hear was spectacular), but the drinking was obviously still going on. Also, there were Party Poppers--those things you pull apart, they *pop* and there's a paper crown inside as well as some sort of toy (I'm not describing them well, but you know what I mean). These little guys were also present during our Christmas lunch in EH, and everyone wore the crowns throughout the entire meal (which btw included, Yorkshire pudding--as a JAP it was something I had never tried before...total deliciousness!).


The beers were available in Big Gulp size.


Our House Photographer. Cross-reference HERE to see much better and more extensive photos.


I don't remember the name of the next venue we went to, but clearly it wasn't all that.


Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigre? They're all the same! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!


The party continued on to my house...




BARF BARF BARF...juuuuust keeeeedin.


"You're not gonna put that ribbon around my neck, are you? I mean, come on..."


"&%$# THIS @#$%!!!"




Success! Freedom!


Then Nico had a *great idea.*


Zman kinda liked it though.


CUTEATTACK!!! Ramona, I need you.


My Mom made me this dress, it was a Chanukah gift. She's made a lot of amazing pieces for me. She's unbelievably talented.


And my Dad crocheted me this hat! Incredible!

Later boners.