The Gang Exploits a Miracle

It's been over a month since I've updated, and I've been getting shit about it from the like, three of you who actually read this.

Well, let's start from the very beginning. A very good place to start.

I spent the Christmas holiday shaving down my Jew horns so I could play WASP in East Hampton. Luckily, I blend in rather well (thanks Great-Grandmother Ruth for the blond hair).



WELL COME OVER, WE'RE GOING TO GET THE TREE. YEAH COME OVER NOW. HURRY UP. WE'RE GOING TO GET THE TREE C'MON. MAKE IT NICE AROUND THE TREE. C'MON MAKE IT EVEN. MAKE IT NIIIICE. GO C'MON TURN ON THE TREE. GO AHEAD, TURN IT ON. OOOOAAWWWWW LOOK AT THE TWEEEEE! AOOWWWWW LOOK AT THE TWEEEEEE...



Um, thanks Aviva for documenting CHRISTMAS MOM's celebrity cameo at Chrissie's 2007 holiday party. Amazing.


I guess everyone knows I love my cat. I suppose I'm *that girl* now.


*Nicolas


My favorite piece of furniture ever.


Christmas Eve...don't I look like a lovely Protestant Princess??


We went to the duck pond and fed the quacks bread from Trader Joe's.










All of a sudden they started going berserk.


Or duckshit, rather.


This dude appeared out of nowhere with a huge back of dried corn from Citarella. Nice how the ducks apparently eat better than I do.


This IS for the birds.


One of these things is not like the others.






This was a few nights later. We met up with the EH crew to play late-night paddle tennis. I'd never played before, but as with all sports I always end up getting super competitive...even if I totally suck at said sport, which in this case I did. I'd never played before and It's hard getting used to a paddle instead of a tennis racket. Anyway, I ended up making a couple of sick dives to get the ball...epic, yes. Successful, no. The concrete on the courts is gnarly. I tore up the knuckles on my right had, ripped out a piece of my shoulder and got my AIDS--I mean, blood all over Nico's hoodie. Sorry. Sorry for being such a badass.


Can't nobody hold me down.


Yup, that's about right.




We went over to Gordon's pool pad. These are the press photos for our upcoming twenty-something ensemble TV dramedy.




Bobby's gonna be a Dad soon.


Très jolie.



Action shot.



The siblings Pool plus Bobby.


Mr. Hamptons DOT com





I borrowed Colin's chapeau.




Outlining his next editorial?



A solid game of Celebrity was played and enjoyed by all.


Nico's serenade.


Flight of the Concords, much?


Yup, Born to Folk!



The night we got back into the city and went straight to Morgan's Heidelberg for the Holidays party. I was late for the eating part (which I hear was spectacular), but the drinking was obviously still going on. Also, there were Party Poppers--those things you pull apart, they *pop* and there's a paper crown inside as well as some sort of toy (I'm not describing them well, but you know what I mean). These little guys were also present during our Christmas lunch in EH, and everyone wore the crowns throughout the entire meal (which btw included, Yorkshire pudding--as a JAP it was something I had never tried before...total deliciousness!).


The beers were available in Big Gulp size.


Our House Photographer. Cross-reference HERE to see much better and more extensive photos.


I don't remember the name of the next venue we went to, but clearly it wasn't all that.


Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigre? They're all the same! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!


The party continued on to my house...




BARF BARF BARF...juuuuust keeeeedin.


"You're not gonna put that ribbon around my neck, are you? I mean, come on..."


"&%$# THIS @#$%!!!"




Success! Freedom!


Then Nico had a *great idea.*


Zman kinda liked it though.


CUTEATTACK!!! Ramona, I need you.


My Mom made me this dress, it was a Chanukah gift. She's made a lot of amazing pieces for me. She's unbelievably talented.


And my Dad crocheted me this hat! Incredible!

Later boners.

Happy Corgi to You!

Thanks YouTube

*click to enlarge

You get me. You really get me.

Heaven is a Place on Earth

Now open year-round. In the winter there are no lines, so if you live close by just get it To Go.
I recommend the Shack Burger, fries and either a strawberry or a black & white milkshake.
It's funny that they've opened a second location on 77th & Columbus because I used to live on that block years ago. I guess if I still resided way up there I could be doing the same thing.


Take it home and watch this:

*Best Birthday present EVER.

*Best show in the history of television.

(Yes, I know)

Corgi Time

Guess what? I'm kicking off a brand new feature of this site--Corgi Time! I will now provide you with Corgi Cuteness at least once a week. Who's psyched? Everyone loves a Corgi!

Corgi Time Today (note--it's short, but just keep replaying it over and over and over...):


And a bonus(!!!) because it's definitely worth your while:

What does your family do on Thanksgiving?

The Burke and Culhane-Shoenberg families gathered chez Marx and after much food, wine and pie (I count that separately from the 'food' category) my Mom, Dad, Liz, John, Susan Burke and I proceeded to get down with an old-fashioned folk/bluegrass jam session.

The backstory here is that my family--and Liz's too are the absolute epitome of A Mighty Wind. Seriously, there are certain details taken right out of our parents' youth as folk rock superstars that were put into that movie--things that cannot be pure coincidence.

The truth is that no matter how much I've made fun of their folk hippie pasts, my parents are so much cooler than I'll ever be. My Mom went to Berkeley and played with everyone. When Jerry Garcia went off and left their circle (when the Dead got big) everyone was just like, oh Jerry's just doing his thing, he'll be back to play real music with us again soon...and he did. Bob Dylan, R. Crumb, Mark O'Connor--these were just regular people who were part of the scene.

My Mom eventually met Liz's Dad in Seattle (a place where a lot of the hippies went when Berkeley/SF/NY (the Village) got ruined by the Flower Children. They started "The Old Hat Band" with my Mom's first husband, Jeff, toured everywhere and were unbelievably awesome.

My Dad was touring around/playing music elsewhere in his VW bus (also married to someone else at the time) in Southern California having finally escaped a tortured childhood in LA's Pacific Palisades, and spent a lot of time in Santa Barbara and in the mountains outside of San Diego (ha, that sounds so Anchorman).

My parents literally met at a folk music jam session--or maybe it was a band practice, I think one of them was subbing in for someone else. Anyway, my Mom complimented my Dad on his banjo-playing skills...and the rest is history.

I guess I take it for granted that everyone in my family plays like literally ten instruments in a variety of styles--including Classical and Jazz. I started Classical piano when I was three, then switched to violin at age four, started voice lessons at around ten. I'm very Classically trained and minded, but I've trying to learn to branch out with the violin and learn to fiddle (well) and experiement with other genres, too. Liz and I plan to start a cover band in ode to our 'rents, "The Young Hat Band." Look for us in Washington Square Park when the weather gets warm.

Old as &%@# part 2

Short and sweet. At least this entry is. The night was actually quite long and I mean that in a really good way. The thing is that I was kind of too busy having fun to take many pictures. Also, sometimes it's best to keep some stuff off the internet, just a little discretion. But anyway, a bunch of us went to Spring Street Natural (where we did the same thing last year), then to Scott's amazing apartment where a lot people came over, well I hope not too many since it wasn't exactly my house...thank you, Scott! I kept Brooke waiting at Lit for like a hundred years. Finally we made it over. It was bonus fun because Leo was DJing, he's a very generous person, thank you, Leo! Thank you to all my friends for two nights of awesome fun and just being the best people ever in general...I'm gonna cheez (burger) out and say you're the effing best and I love, love, love you all.